Review from Black List (12/3/24)
Numerical
Overall 7/10; Premise 8/10; Plot 6/10; Character 7/10; Dialogue 6/10; Setting 8/10
Genre
Romantic Comedy, Comedy
Logline
The trials and tribulations of life, love, and political activism for climate change.
Strengths
SEIZE THE INITIATIVE personalizes the stakes of political activism into a rom-com that has immense potential to be a festival pleaser. Saul’s idealism is wonderful, and he gains tons of emotional investment for his plight. With Grace, we get the sense of an educated and well-informed character, yet has a tenderness that makes her empathetic. The script radiates positivity, which is sorely lacking in the landscape of contemporary cinema, and it is refreshing and enjoyable. Not only does it make for a better reading experience, but the sophisticated story’s tone is enhanced because of it. It also sets the mood for the characters, fostering a stronger connection between them and their environments. The political activism feels like a throwback to independent films of the very early 1990s, which helps explore the themes of identity and community on a micro (individual) and macro (global) level without beating the audience over the head with its messaging. The story is rather contained, which keeps audiences focused on the characters as they ascend into an enjoyable third act and fitting resolution.
Weaknesses
The script speaks a lot of plot, backstories, and character motivations into existence, which hamper pacing, tone, and characterization. On one hand, there could be more “show it, don’t say it” moments because actions speak louder than words. On the other hand, a lot of exposition could be distilled, as it feels loquacious and redundant – even Saul and Grace’s courtship is quite spoken. Less is more. Across the board, the story could be told much more succinctly without sacrificing its emotional gravity. It takes a while for Grace to even enter the story, and scenes go far past the point of expiration, visible earliest on pages 16-26 [the meet cute at Red Butte]. Less is more. Scenes could harness the essence of drama, dilemmas, status shifts, and tension by employing more of a “postcard” approach (concise, memorable, and picture-perfect) to tighten up the pacing and tone. There isn’t much conflict getting Saul and Grace together, and there may need to be more cosmic forces pulling them apart, so we’re rooting for them to connect more. While we understand what characters have to gain, it isn’t wholly clear what they stand to lose, and they may need more “on the line”.
Prospects
The project has a cuteness thanks to its idealistic characters, and its quirky tone, and it could play well for film festival audiences. That said, it should be mindful of the business side of filmmaking. Distributors have a hardline minimum run time of 80 minutes (aka 80 pages) for acquisitions. Thus, the svelte page count [currently just at 80 pages] might want to consider buffering for run time and also adding a bit more to the story so that it has some room for margin of error to be left on the cutting room floor. The script may need to skew slightly in one direction or another, depending on who the writer intends to target as an audience. The story doesn’t deconstruct the human condition the way arthouse audiences desire their stories, yet it isn’t wholly commercially accessible for wide audiences. The project might want to aim for the microbudget level (around $100K), and producers working at this level are usually ingrained in local film communities. As a writing sample, this will raise the profile of the writer, which could open doors to meetings with independent producers. However, the next draft of the script should address the aforementioned issues before going into the marketplace.
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